Zwinky Stardolls Outspark

I was in the electronics section of Wal-Mart when I noticed a wall full of "gaming" cards.  Although I know there are pre-paid cards for X-Box Live, and the PSN, and for Nintendo points I never realized there were gaming cards for online computer games.

So stupid me took the time to research these cards online.  I was embarrassed to look at them in the store because they look like they were marketed to 12 year old girls.  Take Zwinky for example.  From the Wal-Mart.Com website:

Create your own Zwinky avatar. Play games, shop, design your room. Gain access to premium outfits and collect furniture. Meet your friends in Zwinktopia - a fun virtual world. Worth $25 of Zwinky premiums and in-game items! Exclusive bonus: Zwinky Super Power.

Zwinktopia?  Collect Furniture?  Zwinky Super Power?  This just sounds stupid.  But lets move on.

Next up is Stardoll.  From the Wal-Mart.Com website:

With this Stardoll 10-Game Card, girls can go on a virtual shopping spree. They'll experience a world of fame, fashion, and friends with their very own Stardollars. Stardollars let you buy the latest clothes, bags, cosmetics, accessories and much, much more for your very own Stardoll.

Remember when girls used to play with Barbie?  I imagine this is similiar.  It's terrifying to imagine children wanting to invest money into this garbage.

And finally we have Outspark.  I'm not sure why I'm going to paste the description from the Wal-Mart.Com website, but here it is anyways: 

Have fun in a virtual playground! Enjoy free multiplayer games, meet new friends and explore awesome worlds. Use your SparkCash Card to get limited-edition in-game items like clothing, weapons, pets and more!

Do we see a pattern here?  I think so.  It seems all of the cards promise friends.  Which makes sense, since I can't imagine anyone wanting to buy these cards as having friends.  That criticism is probably mean and uncalled for.  But suppose you spend ten dollars a month on one of these games.  Each year you're blowing $120, and what do you get out of it?  Nothing tangible- thats for sure!

If you are desperate for a friend and you are willing to spend $10-$25 a month, I'll be your friend.  Cash only.  All sales final.  No Refunds.