Robocop Nintendo

The Nintendo version of Robocop was nothing compared to the arcade version. But regardless, Robocop is Robocop and it’s the perfect theme for a videogame. Robocop and I had a run-in once:

One day, as I was watching Fox News, there was a loud metallic tap at the door. When I answered it I was shocked to see that it was Robocop. He unnecessarily identified himself as Robocop and told me that official police business required the use of my bathroom.
I didn’t put up any protest, and why should I? It was official police business and it was Robocop. Who says “no” to Robocop? I directed him to the guest bathroom down the hall and he marched into it and closed the door.

I returned to the television and lowered the volume in a vain attempt to hear what Robocop was doing in my bathroom. I was excited to have a celebrity in my home but what could he possibly be doing? Was he reloading his weapon? Was he hiding from OCP goons?
To kill time I looked outside at his police cruiser. It was beautifully adorned with battle scars. Bullet holes, fire and smoke damage, a smear of blood of hair on the fender. Everything I’d expect to see on his car.

By the time I walked back into my living room I could hear the door open to the bathroom. Robocop marched out, nodded at me, and said his trademark phrase “Thank you for your cooperation”. While he said those chilling words he spun a metallic cylinder and inserted it into the hollow of his leg. At first I assumed it was his weapon, but it didn’t appear to be a gun, so I assumed it was a canister of police grade pepper spray.

So what was he doing in my bathroom? My curiosity got the better of me and as I crept down the hall, I worried I’d find parts of a disarmed bomb, or worst.

My eyes instantly burned the moment I turned the bathroom light on. The air was thick with pepper spray. It confirmed my suspicion that was what he put into the hollow of his leg. But why was he spraying it in my house? I looked in the medicine cabinet and under the sink but nothing looked disturbed. Then I lifted the toilet seat where I found a pile of D-Cell batteries in a pull of motor oil. Robocop forgot to flush!